Friday, April 16, 2010

Patience

The other day my sonshine turned 11 months and it seems unfathomable to me that it was a year ago, almost, since the day I pushed him out of my swollen belly. This brings tears, as you can imagine. And the last few months especially, as I diligently declutter and purge and cleanse, box, pack, donate and pare down this house and its contents, he has shown infinite patience with me because he certainly hasn't had all the time and attention he deserves while I've been trying to single-handedly get our farmhouse up on the market.

11 months old. Wowza.

Not entirely single-handedly, I might add. I am thankful to lovely family members and friends, friends I've known a long time and friends I am just beginning to know, for helping me in my hour(s) of need by watching my sonshine, taking him for parts of a day, or coming to spend time with him while I work on another room (Janis, you goddess, you!) or taking him for an ENTIRE day for the first time as a sweet friend of mine, Tricia, over at The Orchard, did. All these favours allowed me to accomplish bigger chunks!

Through all this passing around to all these surrogate mommies while his own mama was busy, my sonbeam has shone so brightly and exhibited buddist-like patience, being the little zen master he is.

My mother always said, "Patience is a virtue." And she's right. But, man. Somedays, it's dang hard! I feel nervous, turn sad about leaving, get anxious about where we're going; where we'll end up. And then I roll my eyes. I roll out my yoga mat. I take a deep breath, I stop packing and cleaning and sit and pour myself a cup of tea. I gather this patience my mother spoke of into my body. I count to three. I sigh and laugh at the ridiculousness of stress and what it can do to a person. Because I gaze at my son giggling at me from the corner of his playpen while I've been too busy to pick him up and then I know this stress, all this anxiety is not worth the worry. So I open myself up to trust. I'm not a religious girl at all, but in this I have faith: everything will fall into place. My farmhouse will sell and we will find ourselves a new bower to burrow into; a haven and a place to call home. It's all good. It's all good.

Finishing touches...

My farmhouse should have the sign hammered into the lawn by Thursday, April 29, 2010 (if not sooner) and, once that happens, I'll have a bit more time on my hands to share what's been happening the last while, what's happening now and what I hope will happen down the road as he and I continue on our mad adventure together, with much more fun to come into my wee li'l laddie's second year!
Music: The Waiting, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

15 comments:

Only A Girl said...

Oh he's sooooo darling!! Next thing you know he'll be walking and talking... Sigh. Sometimes I wish I could make time stand still. Enjoy getting settled in your new place and good luck with the sale of your house!

Me said...

Ha. The last time you posted, I left some strange drunken comment that made *so* much sense at the time...sigh. I was worried that I might have scared you right out of blogland!

Good luck getting your world in order...and happy eleven-month birthday to your Sonshine. :)

Ellen said...

I have missed you! Each day I have looked for a new post so it was nice to see you write today. Packing, cleaning, prepping for getting ready to sell is an awful lot of work so now that I understand (and the rest of blogland!) we will wait patiently.

Oh my...the first birthday..I was in tears! Somehow the whole memory of carrying that child within me was still so fresh...I was excited for the milestone but the idea of not the wee babe in my arms...the fact that once the crawling and or walking start they are stepping away towards themselves as an individual. Up to that point they are so much a part of you. They need to to nurse them, feed them to rock and the mommy inside is having to ever so slowly let go...Oh yes the bittersweet..yet it really is more the sweet...

Little sonshine is an adorable little boy......he is so lucky to have you.

Mimi said...

Hi Nancy! Lovely to see a new post- I wondered how things were going, but, you know, we all hit busy times, so don't worry if you can't post.
Your words remind me of that time in my life- now 17 years ago, and I too had a little 11-monther when we were putting our apartment on the market. It was difficult- we stored her buggy(stroller) in the boot of the car to de-clutter!
People came to view the apartment on her 1st birthday, and they were the eventual buyers!
So, it will all work out, in it's own time. And, as your words say, it's important to keep perspective and a sense of fun, especially with your little man! Take care.

beck said...

Good luck with the sale and your move. I'm sure it will all work out fine. You have such a gorgeous little boy, and it sounds like you are a wonderful mum. I had my first daughter on my own and I can remember how hard it was but how wonderful too. Now I have five and each one is so speicial, and there are still lots of tricky moments! Thinking of you, take care xo

Tricia Orchard said...

Wow! Thanks for thanking me on your blog (although totally unnecessary).

It was my pleasure to have your sonshine that day and he was a breeze! He is lucky to have you for a mum.

I hope you sell your house quickly and find another one near here.

Tricia :)

Ciara said...

THERE you are dear. Well, I knew you hadn't fallen into a black hole, but I did miss the b in subtle, somewhat. Take your time, we aren't going anywhere!

And look at that adorable little face. Birthdays always make me teary-eyed. C x

Dreamfarm Girl said...

I wish you the best of luck on this leg of the journey. You are right, you and that beautiful boy will be just fine. Let it blossom, let it flow.

järnebrand said...

Wonderful to read a the b in subtle post again... :) I just love how you say you roll your eyes and then you roll out your yoga mat... :) That's the spirit! :)
Your sunshine is pure sunshine, I can tell. I went back and read your giving-birth-post which was wonderful too, by the way.
I am wishing you two all the best with the move, getting settled in you new home, and everything!

Take care! Lot of love/ Jo.

婉婷 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Titanium said...

As if! Abandon you? Hah. You'll have to do more than take a break from blogging and engage in real life if you're trying to lose ME.

*grins*

You write about a beautiful life, lived out loud. These gems of yours are well worth waiting for, regardless of the time and space between. Friendships live in the space between words and thoughts.

Also, Sonshine is just glowing with life, health, happiness and wonder. All will be well, and all manner of things will be well.

johnny said...

I have been wondering where you went to...I tto have been guilty of neglecting the ol bloggg....
sometimes I get frustrated at my good friends for not keeping in touch, and then I remember something my wise friend Cara said to me: "You never know what silence means..." i.e. people have their own crap to deal with that you cant even guess at.....I forgot that you had planned on moving...I feel for you, I really HATE moving...apart from the excitement of a new adventure....all the realizing how much crap you have glommed onto....etc....

Yer kid is a cute lil dude....lucky you he;s one of the zen patient ones...not everyone seems so lucky on that score...good luck....cant wait until you are back online here....

TerryMontanez2289 said...

Nice Post~!!!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

寶皓 said...

很高興見到你哦!!. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

JeffScape said...

You've not missed blogland. It's kinda dreary here lately.

Oh, wait... I'm making no sense, am I?

See???