Are You There Horton? It's Me, Nancy.

Kay, I don't know if there is something out there. Some creator being or whatnot. Horton actually wasn't exactly that anyhow for the Whos of Whoville. He was someone who helped them, though; someone who looked out for 'em. I admit I'm more like Nick Cave and don't believe in an interventionist God. I do like to think there is something greater than the sum of all these parts. I can't help when I look to Nature and all its amazing patterns, the universe, its cycles, the cycles of seasons, of day to night, that there might be. The Earth amazes me despite all the shit we've put her through. The cosmos is the greatest show on earth, literally. So maybe there is something out there. Some pattern to it all. To us. To our world. Who knows?

A few weeks ago, I attended Music and Movies in the Park. The night I went, the Jolly Llamas opened with a musical set and the screening that night in the park was the most recent hollywood animated adaptation of Dr. Seuss' 1954 classic, Horton Hears a Who! My friend, Dawn, and her daughter Devin had a chair waiting for me. I'd really only planned to attend other nights showing Bladerunner and Breakfast at Tiffany's, but Horton was more fun than I would have anticipated. It was a beautiful, warm, summer night with just enough of a breeze to keep the mosquitos at bay. So awesome to sit out under the stars and share a movie with all these strangers from one community gathering, carrying babies, blankets, pillows, chairs and flashlights and laughing on the grass.

The last couple of days I've been thinkin' bout Horton. My twin sister and her husband attended this wedding on a hillside in Vermont last month that was heartachingly beautiful in its simplicity. As it was on the East coast, the groom-to-be had described the sensation of all their friends and family trekking from all across the States and Canada out to this wee spot in Vermont as though they were all some great, big "love elephant" bounding towards them. Their wedding site URL was inspired by his remark. My sis has been starting her own side business of customizing exquisitely designed and handcrafted stuffed toys. Thus, as a wedding gift, she created this gorgeous, beaded, handsewn elephant to celebrate their day. I'm a big one for metaphors and I adore this image. It's popped into my head this early morning. As has Horton.

My twin sister, my own womb-mate, is sleeping upstairs and I let her continue to dream as I write this. It is 5:00 am. In 45 minutes, we will get into the car and drive to a clinic in Hamilton and this huge journey I've been anticipating for so long will have officially begun. All my preparation for this moment is coming to fruition, hopefully literally. And I'm thinkin' bout Horton and the Whos of Whoville.

S'cause I feel like all my friends and family members who know the magnitude of what I'm attempting are out there for me this morning. My chance at success feels as vulnerable and fragile and random really as some speck of dust floating in some gigantic, obstacle-laden jungle. There may be danger at every turn. But there they all are, banging their tom-toms. They're tinging tie kettles and pummeling brass pans for me. They're clanging garbage pail tops and old cranberry cans in some kind of frenzy. Each one of 'em is putting lips to a bazooka, tooting their hearts out on oom-pahs and boom-pahs and flutes. They are all making whatever noise they can so some Horton out there might hear 'em. So that what I'm carrying, my own lil' collection o' microcosmic dust specks, these tiny universes unto themselves, will be protected and safe. My womb is flowering, unfolding its petals to catch them so they will be able to survive and live...

I can hear the clamouring din. I feel it pounding inside my breast, echoing my own heartbeat. It's making me cry as I write this in the dark of early dawn. I am so moved by their efforts on my behalf. They are simultaneously my colossal love elephant out there in the world as well as each and every Who in Whoville whom I love.

Small wonder that Loxodonta Africana is my mother's favourite creature. I'm thinkin' bout my mum a lot this morning: how wonderful a mother she's been to all of us; how perfect an example to inspire me at this time. And she's so damn crazy 'bout elephants. I can't help loving them myself this morning. For an animal whose gestational period is in years not months, I can relate. I've been waiting for this moment for years myself and I hope it comes true. And like an elephant, I'll never forget all these voices and hearts resounding out there for me in Hope that it happens. I won't let you forget it, either, if I ever get to tell you this story. This is the first fucking book I'm gonna read you...

But for now, right now, I climb to the top of the Eiffelberg Tower alone. I am Jo-Jo. I no longer want to be afraid of Hope or shy away from joining in this hullabaloo on my behalf. On yours. I no longer wish to be "cautiously optimistic". I want to yell with all my heart and every ounce of my fucking being (which includes you). I realize that my voice, my Hope, is the important li'l bit that's maybe been missing before.

And Horton? Christ, I hope you're listenin...open those big, floppy ears, hey? Please hear me, hear this communal prayer goin' out from the mouths and hearts of all of those who love me. For the one(s) that I am dying to love. I am singing, screaming out to the stars above me:

"YOPP!"
Music: Love Reign O'er Me, The Who

What a Little Starlight Can Do...

I always wished I had the mathematical mind required to be an astronomer. I know so little about the stars, but I love how ancient cultures were able to construct buildings into which the sun would only shine one day out of the year on the winter solstice and shit like that. The ancients seemed far more aware of what was going on up there...I envy it. I've never blogged before. But the time has come. The stars are aligning. They're falling out of the sky, actually. Literally.

Sunday evening (from 11pm until dawn in the Northern hemisphere) is the peak night for the mesmerizing Perseids. This is the meteor shower that is visible annually in August. And this year we get a bonus. 'Cause Sunday, August 12, 2007 happens to also be a new moon. Meaning the sky will be darker and thus, those stars are gonna shine oh so bright.

Basically, here's what you do: it's dark. If it isn't dark, get your arse somewhere it is. Get out of the city for a night. I'm lucky 'cause I live rurally so I simply walk out to my back yard. Now lie on a blanket on the grass, preferably with someone who makes you hot under the collar. In my case, I have to settle for my German shepherd-Husky for company (she just makes me sneeze sometimes). You grab a bottle of something like an appetizing ale or vin rouge. Or maybe it's scotch (and I'm definitely not talking Johnnie Walker Red here–no, this type of occasion calls for something especially smooth like Oban), or maybe your bottle just has a message in it...

You roll, perhaps, a little something fragrant to smoke, if that's what you're into, but you can get high without this as well. Maybe all you're rolling is in the hay (proverbially, if you're not rural like myself) with the aforementioned hot-collar person. 'Cause you'll be witnessing some magic and the stars can have that kind of effect, especially when they're flying. Guaranteed you'll see at least one shooting star per minute. So go ahead! We, none of us, likely look up at the sky often enough. And we should. We really should, 'cause it's where we aim to shoot for our dreams. So do it more often, but especially do it tomorrow night. And while you're at it, mark your calendar to wash, rinse and repeat the above for the night of September 1, 2007, when, if you're smart, you'll jump at the chance to witness a rare meteor shower: the Aurigids. We won't see that one again in our lifetime. Well, this lifetime anyhow.

And maybe if you partake, then I won't have to feel I'm alone out there lying on the grass experiencing the wonder of it. After all, we're all made of stardust, ain't we? We're each of us an integral part of this vast universe, this 'way du lait', as I like to call it. Remember to make a wish. Hell, you can make a hundred while all those stars fall around you.

Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day...
(Ahhh, good ol' cardigan clad Perry Como! He had the ticket!)

Drink it in. You don't even need the Oban, really. Nature can be her own greatest intoxicant...

Music: Vincent, Don McLean
This blog was originally posted on Nancy's Myspace and Facebook profiles on August 11, 2007.